Hidden Carers
As I skip through two decades of images I can only imagine the struggle this absent single mother has had to endure bringing up a child afflicted since birth.
Now a young adult, he portrays all the hallmarks of a mischievous child as he plays in a corner waiting the return of the one that has cared for him for so long and who will no doubt do so well into the future.
Now a young adult, he portrays all the hallmarks of a mischievous child as he plays in a corner waiting the return of the one that has cared for him for so long and who will no doubt do so well into the future.
In New South Wales (NSW)
72% of primary carers are women
Having come under notice for festooning the footpath with an arrangement of toys and other objects from the families high-rise balcony, he is not at all confronted nor surprised by our presence.
Indeed, he looks on with great excitement as a child would before a circus troupe; entertained at last as we break up an otherwise groundhog day afternoon.
Coaxing him for his mother's work number amuses this elusive character even more. Unfortunately, “Mum's the word” is his motto for the day.
Thoughts now go to his mother and I ask myself if she is one of the many hidden carers who don’t identify themselves as carers because of their belief that caring for a loved one is entirely a family responsibility, unaware or ignoring the financial, practical and emotional support available to them.
Indeed, he looks on with great excitement as a child would before a circus troupe; entertained at last as we break up an otherwise groundhog day afternoon.
Coaxing him for his mother's work number amuses this elusive character even more. Unfortunately, “Mum's the word” is his motto for the day.
Thoughts now go to his mother and I ask myself if she is one of the many hidden carers who don’t identify themselves as carers because of their belief that caring for a loved one is entirely a family responsibility, unaware or ignoring the financial, practical and emotional support available to them.
§ § §
Are you a carer?
Know someone that is?
How have you or they coped?
§ § §
References:
NSW Carers Action Plan 2007–2012
Carers NSW CALD Carers Framework and Strategic Plan 2008/09
Helpful sites for carers:
Carers Australia
Working Carers Gateway
Australian Government - Carer payments and allowances
Supporting Carers from Culturally and Linguistically Diverse Backgrounds (CALD)
Australian Government Department of Health and Aging - Respite Care
NSW Carers Action Plan 2007–2012
Carers NSW CALD Carers Framework and Strategic Plan 2008/09
Helpful sites for carers:
Carers Australia
Working Carers Gateway
Australian Government - Carer payments and allowances
Supporting Carers from Culturally and Linguistically Diverse Backgrounds (CALD)
Australian Government Department of Health and Aging - Respite Care
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11 comments - care to make one?:
My dear departed sister-in-law, Grace, was mentally challenged (slow). She lived with us for a while when our children were growing up. She was a very caring lady and we did our best to treat her as 'normal' as possible. She lived out her last years with her older sister. Grace was tough and frail at the same time. Tough in spirit and frail in body. It was sad that in her end times her mind betrayed her with severe paranoia. She feared dying in her sleep so fought going to sleep till she couldn't fight it. In the end, she went to sleep. RIP Gracie <3
Hi Moonshadow and thank you so very much for sharing your story. BTW Great to see that you have been able to cool off in that pool of yours. We have one too but with the opposite weather to yours, it just might freeze over if it gets any colder.
Yes, it is extremely upsetting to see people's minds betray them, as in your sister-in-laws case.
My father-in-law, who lived with us for about 16 years, although frail in the later years, had the stamina of a horse when he first moved in and, although his short term memory wasn't so great, his long term memory for family and friends, gave us a great insight into what he was like as a young man and as a pilot in the Australian Air Force.
Again, thank you for sharing your story.
Take Care,
Peter
Well written, Peter.
I think that far too little recognition is given to the sacrifices of caregivers, and that there should be a lot more care-giving going on in extended families. But it's challenging in our mobile and fragmented societies, where broken families and displaced persons are so common. How can we call ourselves "humanistic" if we don't even take care of our own?
Hope you are well, Peter. And love to little Emily!
I cared for my mother for many years up until her death. Even in the nursing home I was active in her care. It was my responsibility.
Hi Lynda and thank you for your comment. Yes, when families,especially ones with young childen are spread all over the country and the world, it's a hard ask for parents, not wanting to burden their children, to ask them to tend to them if anything should happen.
I'm sure parents with children that have disablities want to care for them themselves, and do, but many can't or struggle to do so for a variety of reasons, including the one I mentioned in my post, the lack of funds and the uncertainly of full time employment and support.
I am blessed having a wonderful wife and children. The last thing I want to do is burden them if something should happen.
Take Care,
Peter
Hi Rose. My parents did the same thing for my grandmother. Yes, I miss her and her lemonade spiiders.
Thanking you for sharing your experiences - it's greatly appeciated.
Take Care,
Peter
Hi Peter,
Such a gorgeous post, mate!
I always say that moms are our personal treasure; when they're gone we are left with nothing.
Am I a carer? Well, I don't have children yet; but I do take care of my husband, parents and granny and I always will. I am a carer in that sense (for now).
However I would like to speak of a group of carers that I came across in the past months: nurses. Nurses are admirable people; the way they take care of their patients, they way they listen and talk to them, they way they dedicate their lives to healing (in every aspect) another human being makes me love and respect them as the Angels they are. I don't think there is a higher proof of Divine existence (nurses' love for the sick is the ultimate proof that God exists; because I see the Love of God in everything they do).
God bless you, Peter :D!
Cheers
Such a beautiful and poignant post, Peter. I am going to Tweet it.
Lovely photo too.
God Bless You!!!
JJJ
Hi Max and thank you! Yes, where would we be without our mums.
If it wasn't for my mum, I wouldn't be here, now would I?
You say, "mom", I say, "mum"; you say tomato, I say tomato - Oops, went off on a tangent with that line.
Now, back to the topic. I am over the moon that your experience with the nurses up your way was more than alright.
Now, the only draw back with being a nurse, is that you know what you're in for when you come in as a patient!
I know that the next time I go in as one, I will have ear-plugs, my own pillows and mags that aren't 10 years old in toe!
Take Care,
Peter
Hi JJ and thank you to you too! As for the tweet, I don't think I've been tweeted before, so again, thank you.
Take Care,
Peter
Hi Peter,
It's my pleasure, mate!
"If it wasn't for my mum, I wouldn't be here, now would I?"
Indeed. Not only she gave birth to you but she also raised you properly.
"You say, "mom", I say, "mum"; you say tomato, I say tomato - Oops, went off on a tangent with that line."
LOL lovely! I spend too much time with North Americans...sometimes I forget Her Majesty's way of writing things ;). Thank you for bringing me back to the right track :D.
"Now, back to the topic. I am over the moon that your experience with the nurses up your way was more than alright."
I'm the one over the moon with their dedication...
"Now, the only draw back with being a nurse, is that you know what you're in for when you come in as a patient!"
LOL LOL ah, yes...you said that nurses are bad patients (I think it was last year when you said it).
"I know that the next time I go in as one, I will have ear-plugs, my own pillows and mags that aren't 10 years old in toe!"
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL I am all for the ear-plugs (believe me)!
Have a great weekend, Pete!
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